Sunday, July 12, 2015

An excerpt from "Republican Relaunch" (tentative title)

Did you know the EPA packs heat? Oh, yeah. Nice stuff, too.  SIG Sauer; stainless steel, no less. I own five weapons. I can’t afford stainless steel.[1]

WTF?!?!

The EPA is a policy arm of the government. What jackass gave them police authority? How can it possibly be justified?

Let’s suppose the EPA decided the drainage ditch in your backyard was a protected navigable waterway. I’m not half kidding on this one, they do this kind of monkey shit all the time. Once established, they can site you for any one of dozens of things you might do to or near this waterway. Let’s suppose further that you build a 10’ x 12’ storage shed you bought at Lowe’s and plop it near this critical body of H2O. Should Big Brother find out about this, and find regulation against it, the fun would begin.

You would be cited, of course, and told to get the offending shed away from the drainage ditch. If you refuse, then the fines and arrests come into play. There was a time when the EPA would have to notify the Justice Department to assist in assaulting your property and tearing down your shed and dragging you into court. Now it seems they have the guns and police powers to do it themselves. Brilliant. What a time saver!

Along with police powers, these people now have to power to make laws. They say they are just expounding on proper law, debated and legislated. But as we have seen, through new “regulations” supported nowhere in existing law, they are dictating law. We also know they have the blessing of an authoritarian regime to do it. “I can’t wait for Congress…” and all that jazz.

One of my favorites is that CO2 is now, by totalitarian fiat, a pollutant; a toxin; fucking poison! Who knew?

I was shocked to hear this. I immediately wrote my congressman (He’s the good one. It’s all the others that are ass hats.) and demanded that a warrant be sworn out on every single American.  I have it on good faith that several times a minute every single one of these damnable Americans is spewing carbon dioxide into the atmosphere. And they do it all day long, even at night when they sleep.  They have absolutely no regard for their planet. Bastards!

It should be easy to catch them. The NSA has all their phone and computer records. They can pull every phone conversation they are having, find out their movements, who they are talking to, and arrest them.

Taking it an important step further, do you have any idea how many tons of CO2 is being expelled by 9 billion people everyday? Oh yeah! The whole world is doing it. The trees have absorbed so much of the poison they’re turning green!

We can’t arrest the whole world. So Valerie Jarrett should order Barry to bomb every last one of them into dust. And he can start with those Lithuanians. Thick as thieves, those Lithuanians.

The only thing more stupid than the last four paragraphs is the CO2 declaration it is making fun of.

But I’ll tell you something even more stupid and truly frightening. The person now at the head of an organization with fiat power and guns is a liberal, environmentalist doctrinaire, and a propagandist and GW/CC alarmist of the first order and totally beneath our trust.[2] I speak of Gina McCarthy, EPA Administrator.

Reduce the EPA to a monitoring group and give them four initials.[3] All the states have their own version of the EPA.  Many simply lift environmental law directly from the federal government and make it their own. Call the new activity something like Environmental Policy Monitoring Group (EPMG), responsible to the states for assisting them in maintaining a safe clean environment and settling environmental disputes among the states.

But for Christ’s sake, take away their police power, rescind all of their fiat pronouncements of the last 7 years and take away their GUNS! Nobody wants some sunken-chested Occupy Wall Street type carrying a gun.  He’ll probably just shoot himself in the foot – or someone else’s foot.



[1] 10--U.S. EPA Firearms Purchase - SIG Sauer P229 22 Aug 2011
[2] EPA Chief: ‘Climate Deniers’ Aren’t Normal Human Beings -Michael Bastasch – Daily Caller, 23 June 15


[3]People outside the beltway probably won’t know this, but federal activities are always trying to find ways to justify three-letter acronyms for their little empires.  The NATIONAL IMAGERY AND MAPPING AGENCY (NIMA) got a boost in prestige when it became the National Geospatial Intelligence Agency (NGA). I remembering thinking that very thing when driving by their headquarters shortly after the change; “Well, they’re moving up in the world.”

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